Thank You for Thinking of Me on My Wedding Anniversary

After a while, we learn that being a mother is not what we thought it would be like when we were kids. We learn that life is messy, and that there isn”t any one right way or unforgivable mistake, that we can celebrate our children”s brave daring and be afraid for them at the same time. We learn not to blink in the face of attitude – that we can be “the heavy” and still keep our hearts open. We learn from each other that we”re never alone and we”re not going crazy. And we learn that we never stop learning – with every new day, we laugh and we learn.

I”m so thankful for you – as a woman as a mother, and as my friend. ~ © American Greetings®

Thank you so much, dear friend, for thinking of me and the meaning this day holds in my life. Your thoughtful and kind gesture means more to me than I can tell you. The words you wrote in your card were beautiful.

As I began reading the message in this card to you, I thought “gotta find something else,” but of course, knowing how I feel about being a mother, I”m sure you figured that I had to read through the whole verse. I still thought I needed to find a different card.

But, then I thought of the message in the card. The understanding that mothers share with one another and the greater blessing of having a dear and wonderful friend with whom you share both the bond of motherhood and the bonus of the bond being wrapped in friendship.

Thinking some more, I thought of another bond you and I have, and how the sentiment of the card could apply to the affinity we share through widowhood. I reread the verse applying it to our grief journey and just as I cheer for and applaud you in your triumphs of motherhood, I cheer for and applaud you, my widowed friend, in your triumps of widowhood. I truly believe the challenges of widowhood are far more formidable than those I’ve faced thus far as a mother.

Widowhood is messy. There is no one “right” way and we must be forgiving of ourselves as we stumble in finding our way; and, we should applaud ourselves simply because we try; for in trying we demonstrate untold courage and strength. We daily stare in the face of an “attitude of magnitude.” There can”t possibly be anything or anybody, much less a child, who could test us and try to wear down our resolve more than the grief monster…yet we open up our hearts to the meltdowns at the hand of the gm, for we need those times, we need the gift of the release and the cleansing those times can bring. We look to the friends we’ve met in our grief journey and while we”re mournful for the reason we found one another, we couldn’t be more grateful for the “find” of the friendship gems. Though not always physically together, yet always together, we face each newly dawning day blessed by the laughter the gift of our friendship brings. We learn from as well as teach each other and through our friendship, our strength for putting one foot in front of the other is nourished.

So…the card fits. HA! Cuz I made it fit; in a “platuitous” way, no less…noooo, with me that would be far more!! I”m grateful for you, as a woman, as a mother, as a fellow widow, but especially as my friend.

Thank you so much for remembering the significance of this day in my life. Your thoughtfulness immensely helps me on this most difficult day.

KILY Branch

© September, 2005