Grief's Journey

Hi DieNarrin,
Good to see your keystrokes again!

The only way I could get through all of the stuff was to have at least 2 people with me. They kept me moving. Without them I also got mired in stuff. Do you have any friends or family who could spend a couple of days with you as you go through things?

Let us know how it goes.
Peggy

~~~edited to complete a sentence

Feeling stuck and mired in stuff!

The last few years of my husband's life he seemed to collect junk.... so much stuff and I am still looking at all of this stuff.  The problem is a lot of it isn't junk but does have a lot of value and needs to be sorted and sold.  How do I get the energy and drive to start going through all of this stuff.  I have gotten rid of quite a bit - but I swear it doesn't look like I have done anything.

How could they know? They haven't been where we are.

Peggy stabbed it here well...and not really knowing those others, perhaps they are (or not) really caring, so frame things in glowing terms  "Strong, bounce, whatever..."

You have done what you, you, you, only you needed to do.

It is that simple and that ever so hard. And yet, you have pushed off and started what you need do to go on.

Goon (somewhere here you can find out the meaning of "goon") but anyways "goon" on you for bravery, bravura, courage, to take the steps into a your world as it is now, to claim it. Goon on you for loving your Dear and the love you had and goon on you for allowing you/this can carry through.

Carry it as you can, and you will bounce, move, recover, as it fits, helps you. let your love, the love he gave, you shared, guide you. The rest of us? Well around here we will hold and help you best we can. It may not sound like a lot but we will listen.

Linda,
I totally get what you're saying. I felt the same way when others told me I was "doing great." For me, I think it was the feeling that I was alone in my grief. Others didn't understand that my heart was still bleeding and I was one hot mess. I thought, "How can you say that? I'm dying inside."

How could they know? They haven't been where we are. Perhaps it makes them feel better to believe that we've "bounced back" or "moved on." That way, they don't have to endure watching someone they love and care about deeply grieving. Whatever it is, I finally realized that it's about them, not about me.

I'm glad you came here and let it all out. I know you loved him, and continue to love and miss him with all of your heart.
Sending you great big hugs. 
Peggy

Why does it bother me so much when a friend called out of the blue last week and said she is so proud of me and how quickly I "bounced back". I don't know what that means. I know what it means per se but not sure how that applys to me. Have I bounced back? I guess I always thought one "bounces back" from a job loss or an unfortunate circumstance but I feel as if it trivializes everything I've gone thru ibn the last 9 months. Am I being overly sensitive here.....She mentioned how fast I sold the house and moved and how others have been torn to pieces after losing a loved one but she was amazed how quickly I moved on. I didn't tell her that I still miss him more than life itself and still have nights when I cry myself to sleep. Then when I hung up I thought maybe it does look as if I just moved right along to people and that maybe I didn't love him as deeply as they thought I did.

Well there it is. I needed to get that off my chest and as usual this is the go to place when I need answers to the unanswerable..   

(((((((((((love and hugs))))))))))))))) Linda 

 Remembering Rachel, today on her 73rd birthday.
I wish we could be together to celebrate your special day but I want you to know I'll be celebrating it with you in my heart. A heart that's filled with so much love for you now and always.
                           HAPPY BIRTHDAY
                                 Rachel

it was lgreaves...I think I needed it as much as she did...and, I had fun...I made it her right of passage into being a young lady...in a way I was also making up for the fact that her dad, Mike, would not be here to share in this moment.

she never mentioned it...but I knew it was in her thoughts. It was definitely in mine.

mc2

sounds like a great time, mc2.  I'll never forget my oldest sister getting me ready for my first dance.  It was the first time I ever felt so special, except the time when I was almost six and broke my arm.  I wondered, "What's all the fuss about?  Is it about me?"  Like someone said, Pooh or Alice, "Curiouser and curiouser?"

mc2, you must have had mixed emotions.  I give you hugs in comfort.
 

Thank you so sad...yes I did,..appreciate the hugs...I really needed some.

right back at you 

mc2

p.s. my daughter said, she had a nice time ...but the preparation we did, days before the event: fittings, facial, foot spa, mani & pedi, waxing, threading, hair & make-up was more fun

good morning ijbj...

it's a beautiful morning on my side of the world too.

mc2