Tomorrow is 6 months... I dont even have the energy to put how i feel into words...i have been waiting for this day for so long (foolishly when it first happened 6 months seemed so far away and i thought....if i could just fast forward time to 6 months from now.....) and now here we are.....and it still hurts. I knew it would, but i thought it wouldnt be so raw....and maybe wouldnt sneak up and hit me so hard out of the blue. but here we (or rather i should say here I am)
Left and Leaving
My city’s still breathing (but barely it’s true)
through buildings gone missing like teeth.
The sidewalks are watching me think about you,
sparkled with broken glass.
I’m back with scars to show.
Back with the streets I know
Will never take me anywhere but here.
The stain in the carpet, this drink in my hand,
the strangers whose faces I know.
We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say " I wanted it this way"
Wait for the year to drown.
Spring forward, fall back down.
I’m trying not to wonder where you are.
All this time lingers, undefined.
Someone choose who’s left and who’s leaving.
Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me:
a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest,
the best parts of Lonely, duct-tape and soldered wires,
new words for old desires,
and every birthday card I threw away.
I wait in 4/4 time.
Count yellow highway lines that you’re relying on to lead you home.