Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooo much for posting the link. I was trying to have this very conversation with myself on the way to work this morning. Losing our spouses was primary, but the secondary losses that occurred are almost just as painful, and I for one, have been floundering greatly, making no headway toward a "new" life. One of the biggest reasons for my inability to "find" a new path is mostly due to not being able to let go of ANY of it - the injustice of the sudden, unexpected death, my young (hee hee) (57 at the time) age and then of course, all the ancillary hurts that I NEVER could have foreseen, so it's been two years of feeling so insignificant, so alone, and so mired in the muck. I, too, will always cherish the good times and will NEVER forget him, but letting go is indeed necessary. Also for me, I struggled with letting go of possessions for fear of disrespecting him, but I've disposed of more and more things because I realized two things; (1) they are JUST things, and (2) they are HIS possessions which obviously he no longer needs. We didn't choose to live without them, nor did they choose to leave us, but the reality is I'm all I've got, and IF there's a chance to get "better", letting go is definitely a crucial step.
Wishing you all more peaceful moments.