That's one of the saddest stories I've ever read. I'm really sorry, Eva. It was wrong, wrong, wrong and you're justified in being hurt and angry.
I hope you can 'let this go', as the warden suggests, by the time September 17 arrives. What will happen that day needs to be free of everything but honor and love. And, so does the remainder of your journey.
...I told my dad, don't worry about coming! He said okay since he's financially strapped and he must be somewhere else the next day. He doesn't know the real reason why I didn't want him there...
You've acted upon the hurt your father imposed. Decide whether or not what you've done brings you resolution. Is this enough or will you not "rest" until he knows? Do what will bring you rest because again, as the warden says, this will eat at you until you meet with rest.
What your family did was wrong, Eva, so wrong that I'm not sure it could ever be made right. For that reason and for the love and honor of your husband, you're not overreacting, but for your own well being, I feel you do have to wrap this up and send it off into the wild blue yonder. You need to regain power instead of allowing them and their actions to hold it. Only you can decide if permitting your family to be with you on September 17 will serve you in some way, however large or small, or be a detriment.