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[Branch]

Hugs, mixlass.  I so understand the 6.5 hours left.  Big and strong hugs.

Athena, I do have Firefox, I just wasn't using it at the time.

I discovered this one during my husband's illness and it became one of my favorites.  When I read it, I thought, that's the epitome of my husband.  When he died, I had two different types of those "funeral cards" made up - a religious variety and one with his picture on the front and this verse on the back.

There's a choice you
have to make
In everything you do.
And you must always
keep in mind,
the choice you make,
makes you.

Author Unknown

[mixlass]

Sorry. Bad day today. That record came on the radio and I locked the door to my office and sobbed. He was the one who was always there, and always cared.

In Marks & Spencer tonight (food hall) a guy fainted/collapsed in front of me. I'm ashamed to admit I couldn't do anything -- there were plenty of people around who came running but I just had to walk away. I had to bite my lip hard to stop crying. I could only think, "Oh god, not today; please god, not today in front of me" (He was ok -- he just cracked his head on a shelf when he fell).

Then I went for a biopsy in my mouth last Friday. They told me that it looked ok and they'd send the results in about six weeks, but when I got back from work today there was a letter from the Dental Hospital with an appointment to see the consultant in three weeks. It could be nothing (I hope) but I'm feeling a bit scared. Mick would have reassured me. Even if it is something they've caught it pretty quick cos I go to see the hygienist every 3 months and the dentist every 6.

[KimJ]

I really wish I had some great words for you Mixlass but I am just sitting here shaking my head wondering why we had to lose the one we could talk to, count on.  The person who would be by our side no matter what.  Cyber hugs do not quite cut it some times but I am sending them your way anyway.

[Branch]

That must have been horrible for you, mixlass.  I'm sorry it happened.  I hope the guy will be okay.

Keep us posted on the goings on with your mouth.  I don't know what's what, but when such as this happens, I feel they address emergencies.  If it couldn't wait 3 weeks, your consultation would be happening sooner than three weeks.  Of course, I could be wrong, but that's the way I look at things and I don't worry till I know about what I should be worrying.  And, I'm not saying that because it is you that has the potential worry rather than I; it truly is the way I approach "stuff."

Again, I know understand your especially missing Mick now with this news.  I've been 2 foot surgeries, back surgery, and knee surgery since my husband's death, mixlass, so please know that I do indeed know about needing your spouse by your side at such times.  I hope we can be an okay replacement lean-to in Mick's absence.  You have us...don't forget...when there is no one else, you have us.

I'll be thinkNbouthcha.

[Kahuna]

I know exactly how you feel. I was with my kids on vacation this past March. It was a place that was extremely special to LeRoy and I; actually, our daughter was conceived there. I was on my way into the parking gargage when just 20 feet in front of the door was a man, a biker, probably about my husband's age, receiving CPR. At first I didn't believe what I saw - it really couldn't be happening. I saw another man anxiously watching the paramedics. All I could think of was I had to help - so I offered to drive him to the hospital, to follow the ambulance, but he declined. I stayed with him until they left; then I had a meltdown. I still can't believe that happened.

I am also sorry that it happened to you. I will be thinking of you, Mixlass.

[mixlass]

I don't know what's what, but when such as this happens, I feel they address emergencies.  If it couldn't wait 3 weeks, your consultation would be happening sooner than three weeks.  Of course, I could be wrong, but that's the way I look at things and I don't worry till I know about what I should be worrying.  And, I'm not saying that because it is you that has the potential worry rather than I; it truly is the way I approach "stuff."

No, I agree -- this is exactly what I've decided. I have no 'symptoms' (eg sore mouth, sore throat) so if it is 'that' then I suspect it's in the very early stages.

All I could think of was I had to help - so I offered to drive him to the hospital, to follow the ambulance, but he declined. I stayed with him until they left; then I had a meltdown. I still can't believe that happened.

I hope that if it happens again I'm able to be more helpful ... I felt awful just walking away but there were plenty of people round and if it had been serious I'm not sure how I would have coped.

[mixlass]

Chickened out and phoned the Dental Hospital this morning.

It's just a follow-up appointment -- they get results back in ~14 days and then arrange a follow-up. They'll phone me if anything's wrong. It would have been nice if someone had explained that to me before the letter landed on my doormat! 

When I've had other tests they've just posted the results out if they're ok. I mentioned it on the phone and she said that the dentist who did the biopsy should have mentioned it, but I'm pretty sure he didn't. He just said the results would be through in about two weeks.

Anyway ... 

[Jo]

Wonderful Relief Mixlass!!!   
 

[KimJ]

 

[Branch]

I don't think that was the chicken's way out at all, mixlass.  Quite the contrary, I think it was showed courage and even more - stability!  I'm so proud of you!  You took control!!!!

I'm thrilled with the news!  Now hopefully, I'll quit all this nervous winkying! 

[Kahuna]

When I returned home, my son Brian had a special treat for me. He found a book that LeRoy had given me on my 42nd Birthday. It is titled: 42 Gifts I'd Like to Give to You. It is a collection of inspirational quotes and poems.

I finally got the courage to check it out on Saturday night, (9 month demarc). The following is the book's inscription and his:

This is a special collection filled with wonderful wishes and the most meaningful kind of gifts that could ever be given. Within the words of this book, I would like to give these gifts to you.

Donna,
On the 21st of March 1957 - it was a good day for me. You were born. Never knew then that day my love was born.
Thank you for all the joy.
Thank you for our great kids.
Thank you for everything.
Love,
LeRoy

I would like to share them with y'all, a little at a time.

The Gift of Knowing That Beautiful Tomorrows Begin Today
Tomorrow is a beautiful road
that will take you right where
you want to go...

If you spend today
walking away from worry
   and moving towards serenity;
leaving behind conflict
   and traveling towards solutions;
and parting with emptiness
   and finding fulfillment.

If you can do what works for you,
your present will be happier
and your path will be smoother.

And best of all?
   You'll be taking a step
   into a beautiful future.
                 
         - Douglas Richards

[Branch]

Even though it also hurts like a beezotch, don't you just love reading his words telling you how much he loved you and how grateful he was for all the gifts you bestowed upon him?

Thanks for sharing not only his words with us, but also for sharing the words of another he chose to share with you.

[KimJ]

 

[Desert Prince]

Kahuna, that is so marvelous.  Almost seems an answer direct from him to all your questions.

[Kahuna]

Almost seems an answer direct from him to all your questions.

Thanks, DP, indeed it does seem that way. Once again, he let me know that I am headed in the right direction.

It is good to hear your voice.